Strength and Love

It is unfathomable how much has happened since my last posting. It's been said that "when it rains, it pours." In my family's case, we've been stuck in a hail storm.

The passing of my brother, Jonathan, was none other than shocking and devastating. Even as I write this it seems so surreal. I think I've convinced myself that he's still living in Charlotte, but is on vacation or out of the country. Many times in the past three weeks I have scrolled through my speed dial list and called him expecting him to answer. But the operator's voice informing me his number has been disconnected jolts me back to reality in just those few seconds. And then I realize I will never hear his voice again. And I cry. But for some reason I still can't bring myself to delete his number from my phone. I'm just not ready to let go. I want to hear, "Hey, Frachelle!" just one more time. I realize it's going to take time for me to accept and move on. But for right now I'm not ready. For right now I still want to feel as though he's alive...I imagine in my heart he always will be.

Jonathan's absence has been amplified by my mom's diagnosis of breast cancer. My mom has been feeling unwell for over two years and has had a series of tests done to try to pinpoint the cause. Jonathan and I had daily conversations expressing our worries and our thoughts on what could be causing mom's discomfort. Six days after Jonathan's death my mom received her diagnosis. I had no one to call.

Since my mom's diagnosis we have also learned that the cancer is present in her bones and in the lymph nodes of her chest. She has started an oral treatment that will fight to get the cancer under control. My mom has already battled this once, 17 years ago. I honestly believe the cancer has no chance. My mom is a survivor and the strongest woman I know. And I know Jonathan is there fighting for her every step of the way. He loved her so much and I know he will make sure to protect her.

Our First Weekend Getaway

It's been 13 months since Robert and I have been on a date. I know, I know...not only have we been completely unfair to ourselves, but we have been unfair to Evan too. You see Evan has only stayed with someone else on three different occasions and those times were for only a few hours. He has become so attached to me over the last month that I am absolutely terrified for the next person that has to stay with him.

And the honors go to...Memaw Evans. (By the way, we're still not sure if that's what we're calling my mom these days. We went from Nonny, to Memaw and I have a feeling we'll be calling her something completely different in a couple of weeks.)

Robert's 40th birthday is on the 11th and I felt it necessary that I do something special for the old man. As I tossed around various ideas I kept running into the same problem time after time after time...What will we do with Evan??? The only people here that I trust enough to take care of Evan would be Katie and Spencer, but I would never slap that much responsiblity on them unless we were in a real bind. Like having f-ball tickets to a Carolina/Tennessee game. hint, hint. Totally kidding y'all!

But asking family is a whole 'nother story. Not only was I sure my mom would want to stay with Evan, but I also knew that she was quite aware that Robert and I haven't had a night to ourselves, much less two nights. I jumped on the horn to state my case for our first weekend getaway and my mom happily agreed to pony up. I absolutely did not have a plan B so thank you, mom, for saying yes.

This is the point at which I give my mom a fair warning: 1. Evan is teething - molars! 2. Evan cries every time I am out of sight. 3. Evan has started experiencing stranger anxiety - so I hope he remembers you. 4. Evan has HORRIBLE diaper rash.

Ok...I layed it all out there. Now I can only hope and pray that my mom's multitude of experience will instantly kick in the moment we walk out of the door. This is a woman who handled a 4 yr old, a 13 month old and newborn twins all on her own. But she also claims not to remember those first couple of years because her robotic instinct took over and blurred it all out for her. I guess that's why I don't have a baby book either.

I'm hoping something comes back to her. She's gonna need it.

As for Robert and myself, we are going to enjoy every single moment we have together. These little getaways don't happen too often obviously. This time away is much needed, and if I do say so myself, well deserved. Thank you, mom, for making this happen!

Introducing My First Guest Blogger

After reading my post, 40 Things I Learned From My Husband, Robert's mom thought it would be fun to reminisce a bit and come up with 40 of her own things she learned from Robert growing up. A mother's perspective is one we can all relate to and one we can certainly all respect. Pay extra attention to #40...this woman knows what she's talking about!

40 Things I Learned from Robert (as he was growing up) by Dixie Bopp

1. “If I had wanted to be upside down in Mom’s tummy, I would have turned that way myself.”
2. You have to be still in order to go to sleep. (Robert was never still)
3. Walking is a waste of time – go straight to running.
4. Getting stitches is a lot of fun.
5. I was a bad Mother for not taking him to get stitches when he cut his head.
6. Fishing is wonderful therapy for an ADHD kid.
7. There is a décor called “early jungle”.
8. Spaghetti and pizza are real American foods.
9. Don’t try to put the gas nozzle back in the car’s gas tank if it falls out.
10. Robert can sleep through anything – even the 24-hour bug (both ends).
11. A smile can steal my heart – even when he has pushed all my buttons.
12. Optimism is a great trait.
13. Getting your finger stuck for a blood test is a lot of fun.
14. Smoking is forbidden, even in summer school.
15. A pierced ear is not worth having if it is going to upset your Mother.
16. The only way to find out if you like to play a sport is to play the sport.
17. Never say, “I can’t do that”. You don’t know until you try.
18. Being engaged at the age of 4 doesn’t work out the way you hoped.
19. You don’t need a bed to sleep in – an inflatable boat works just as well.
20. When you get taller, you can jump high enough to leave fingerprints on the ceiling.
21. God takes care of little children and fools.
22. One-fourth of a bottle of Triaminic will make a kid sleep a long time.
23. Silence is golden. Unfortunately, we never got to find out for ourselves.
24. Mailboxes and Toyotas don’t mix. Especially when you are 15.
25. Never be anywhere on time. It will drive everyone crazy!!
26. You can drive your teachers crazy by scoring high on your ACT test when they thought you were never listening.
27. Just when you think you have experienced everything as a mother, Robert will come up with something new.
28. A metal vacuum cleaner hose makes a great pretend shotgun.
29. BB guns should not be used to threaten sisters.
30. Don’t tease the little short kid. He is going to grow taller than all the rest of the family.
31. You can ride a bike from Powell to Oak Ridge without getting run over.
32. Root canals aren’t so bad. Just take a nap while the dentist works.
33. Some people don’t physically feel pain.
34. The Energizer Bunny can’t hold a candle to Robert’s energy.
35. When you are really down, a big smile and hug will make everything better.
36. Don’t ever underestimate someone’s ability to succeed.
37. Hard work is the key to success.
38. ]It is okay to change your mind, change your mind, change your mind, change your mind. Eventually you will make a decision.
39. Winning the big prize at an Easter Egg Hunt can be very stressful (for Mom).
40. And, finally, the most important.Waiting until you are 37 to get married assures you of getting the perfect wife.