Saturday, November 14, 2009

Dear Lottery,

I'm just giving you a heads up for tonight's drawing. I bought five quick picks today and I would really appreciate it if one of those picks was chosen to be the winner.

You have my word that I will be generous with my winnings and will not self-destruct like many past winners have. I won't become an alcoholic. I won't start hating my husband and demand a divorce. I won't even spend frivolously until the point of bankruptcy. I will simply make life easier for my family and loved ones. What's the harm in that?

I think I'm an excellent candidate - perfect for the job. I hope you take my request into consideration. If you don't, well, life will go on. But just for shits and giggles...

Most Sincerely,

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